Let me start
by saying, that the only man that likes Sin Sod is the father of the
bride. Regardless of
whether you are
Thai or a foreigner, no man likes to think that he has to buy a wife. Sin Sod is a constant source of debate on
Pantip.com, the well respected Thai webboard, with many Thai men complaining
about the amount parents want for Sin Sod or even, why they have to pay Sin Sod
at all.
My Top 3
Tips
1. You
can’t avoid paying.
Don’t think
that you won’t have to pay.
Even if your
blushing bride has been married 3 times before, you will still be asked for Sin
Sod. The past is the past and the family
will still be looking to enjoy a secure future.
Rightly or
wrongly, society, not just Thai society, generally expects that the man will take
care of his wife and family financially.
In Thai,
“family” includes parents and can also be extended to relatives in financial hardship.
The greatest
expectation for support of the parents falls to the Thai daughter. Although many Thai men do support their
parents, society doesn’t view them as harshly if they don’t.
Thai’s also believe,
that a man’s ability to pay Sin Sod confirms his ability to take care of his
wife and any children that they may have.
But it’s not
only part of the culture, it’s part of the economy.
My
mother-in-law is 68 and her monthly pension is a mere 600 baht. This only increases to 700 baht when she
turns 70. Can you imagine actually
living on under US$20 a month?
The economy
is geared to adult children taking care of their parents. The majority of the population escapes paying
income tax, anyone that sells food on the street or in a market for example, doesn’t
pay tax. Imagine a scenario where there
are 10 people working in administrative or customer service roles within an
office and only the Supervisor pays tax.
Everyone else falling under the tax free threshold of 26,000 baht per
month. This is true in Thai.
The
government simply doesn’t have the available funds for pensions.
At the end
of the day, don’t think about it like you are buying a wife. Think of it as you are contributing to the
lives of a nurturing and supportive family.
2. There is no set amount that you must pay for
Sin Sod.
The amount
of Sin Sod you pay is solely dependent on 2 things, the expectations of the
girl’s parents and your ability to pay.
At a
minimum, you can expect to pay 100,000 baht cash and 20,000 baht in gold. It can however, rise steeply from there when
parents start talking about cars and houses.
The problem
is that in many cases, as soon as the parents here the word farang, they will
automatically double what they previously thought they would get for Sin Sod.
Always remember,
everything is negotiable.
Traditionally
for a Thai marriage, both sets of parents would meet to discuss what was an
appropriate amount of Sin Sod.
Obviously,
the grooms parents don’t want to pay too much, but they also don’t want to be
embarrassed by offering too little.
It’s not
uncommon for 2 mothers to be heard crowing about how much Sin Sod they received
when their daughters married. Parents
don’t like to think that their daughter’s marriage is worth less Sin Sod than
someone else’s. Especially if they marry
a foreigner.
To help your
new in-laws not to lose face, one option is to give them a heap of cash and
gold, just for the wedding party and photos.
Oh, you will also be required to cover all the wedding costs. Then after the wedding, they only keep an
agreed amount and the rest is returned to you.
Although
they wouldn’t admit to it, many Thai’s apply this scenario.
If the
parents are good people and the girl loves you truly, they won’t leave you
penniless.
3. Follow your Gut
The most
important piece of advice that I can give you is to make sure that you feel
comfortable with everything that is happening.
People get
married for many different reasons and your reasons are solely your own.
But when you
start talking about marrying someone form a different country, who will potentially
still live in a different country. It
can get complicated.
Foreigners
can’t own land in Thai, so the house that you buy for your married life will
never be yours. Something to think
about.
Thai girls
don’t just marry for money and to be taken care of.
Of course
there are some girls like that; there are girls with that mentality in every
country and across every culture.
The motives
of some foreign men are not always pure either.
Always be
honest.
There are
many things that Thai’s won’t openly discuss and this can be made even harder
if you both don’t speak each other’s language well.
Thai’s
believe that if a truth is hurtful to someone’s feelings, they won’t share that
truth.
If you’re in
love with a Thai girl and you’re continually honest with each other, be confident
in knowing that regardless of how much Sin Sod you pay at the start of the
marriage, this amount will be returned to you tenfold in terms of a lifetime of
devotion.
I have been
married to an amazing Thai girl for a couple of years now and I have never been
happier.
Word on the
street is that the government will be passing a law which will earn them 5%
revenue on all Sin Sod 10,000,000 baht and above. I guess that you can use this fact in your
negotiations if God forbid, your Sin Sod ever reached that height.
I
hope that you have found this information useful.
Please
put any questions that you might have in the comments section below. I will do my best to answer as quickly and as
accurately as possible.
We
look forward to seeing you back here again very soon.
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care
Brad
& Ta
Spread over 6 levels, including a cinema at the top, each level is themed from a different city around the world. There’s a double decker bus on the London level and a pair of Sumo’s on the level of Tokyo. Even the bathrooms are a joy to visit, as the themes are extended there as well.
There is also a huge variety of Thai and international food to be had there. The food court is always full of happy and smiling customers.
